ebel (ebel) wrote,

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I wasn't there then, but I could have been here earlier

I've restarted contributing to Wikipedia, mostly articles on abortion in Ireland, but recently Dublin Pride. Writing summaries about pride parades in the early/mid 2000s from newspaper articles, reminds me how I wasn't out, and didn't go to things like that while in university. It can make me feel like I missed a lot. I have a deep respect for people I know who went to pride, who were active, years before me.

One one hand, I can look back on my 4 years in university and think that I should have done more. That in first year, I should have gone to every one of whatever soc's events, and organised some! That I should have gone to pride events! That I could have just talked to more people! I could have got involved with netsoc sooner! But then I wasn't there as a person yet. 2016!ebel is different from 2002!ebel. 2002!ebel didn't have the skills, confidence, and knowledge that 2016!ebel has. We all get on this train at different points.

But I could have gotten to where I am now sooner. I could have gotten here faster than it actually took me. A few constant changes here and there, a few little pushes, and I could have increased the speed, and it would have paid off. Had I just gone a little bit outside my comfort zone a few times more than I did, then I could have learned that it's not too bad. Then the next time I'd go just that little more more, etc.

Once I started to research and add summaries about Dublin Pride in 1990s, I started to feel a little better, because that's very definitely "ancient past". The people who were active then are much older than me, they can't fit into "my age group". In 2004 I was promoting Wikipedia on this journal, as if it was a cool site that no-one knew about. Maybe not many people knew about it. But today the idea of "not knowing about Wikipedia" seems strange. How times have changed!
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